Thursday December 18, 2003

I am hoping to post this before I get on the road tomorrow but that is not a definite. Sometimes you know you are beating the enemy by the things he pulls on you—when he can’t get at the emotions and stuff that deep, he goes for the stuff—This is why today I have a big new scratch on my car and a broken modem on my laptop the day before a road trip. It is pretty extraordinary. But fact is, all it does is make me want to pray harder. I am mad and ready to fight him. And the bottom line is that if I fight, I win.

That said, the good news is that I have been planning to buy a new laptop for weeks. I was only waiting to be sure I got my deposit back and I am getting it so that is a done deal. Theoretically I could buy one tomorrow and have it on the way home, and that is actually a thought, but I think I would rather wait and pick carefully because that is a serious purchase and I need one that will do well for my work and travel. So I may make a road trip back with no modem. I can blog and save to disk and post it when I get home, but without that modem I lose a big connection. What this means is that it is me and God in a deeper way. I love that that statement just made the devil mad enough to wish I had a new modem!

Anyway we loaded up tonight. Randy is an angel. He managed to get all the stuff I needed into my trailer—barely. I mean, you could not pack anything else in there but my 5 X 8 trailer has my washer and dryer, table and chairs, beautiful tables, blue chair and MANY boxes. It is loaded up and locked up at Terry’s. I am a bit stranded now—Belma will take me to work in the morning and then Rae is supposed to take me to Terry’s but I am a bit nervous because she was not at work today and now I can’t check my email to see if she wrote; she doesn’t have my cell number. But Belma is on standby for me. It has been crazy. Driving with a trailer is an adventure. Backing up is more of an adventure. I am glad I have LOTS of prayer!!!

Anyway, beside the wild stuff there was also great peace in my time with Terry. We had a beautiful time of prayer before our farewell—it is hardly goodbye! She anointed me and prayed over me, especially in regards to some stuff that we both believe God is moving me into now. Then I prayed for her and the church and it was just an all around effective, intense and awesome time of prayer and ministry. Our hearts are the same in many ways, especially spiritually. I am very closely connected to her in the area of prayer in a way that I know is a God thing and something He is doing. I felt that anyway, before, but when it came from HER mouth then I guess I really knew it.

It was sad to say good night and know it will be six weeks of nights before we say hello face to face or take hands to pray again. But mostly my tears were from seeing what has transpired. I cried as she prayed, and as we hugged, I cried and said it was so amazing to see what God has done—did we ever think we would be sitting here praying this way? Not hardly. It looked rough for a while there, but what was a bumpy ride led to a beautiful place of peace. It increased our bond too. I know we will always be close friends. And it is the strangest thing but I will always be a part of this church. That is a fact. Terry sees that too, and it is neat. So we prayed for eons and then said good night. I told her I loved her, turned around and didn’t look back. The next time we are together we might have a glimmer of what God is doing. We are both excited.

I gave her a silver frame that was kind of fun looking with “Friends through thick and thin” inscribed in it—and I put in the picture of me and Terry and Darrell when I had the cheerleading outfit on on Thanksgiving. That was a special day—and the picture of it is a happy memory of the change God has brought.

I have a couple people to whom I need to tell this story. One is Aunty. I will write her a letter at some point. The other is more important in this case. More and more I feel I need to tell Pastor Jerry. I went to him in October and we had a long talk. I need to tell him what happened and what God did. I won’t tell most people the details—not yet. One day maybe but not casually. I might share a testimony or something where the atmosphere is right, but this is not for the casual ear. But I need to tell Pastor Jerry.

Anyway, I have been up since 3:36 this morning—I simply could not sleep. I got up and prayed and packed and took a load to storage. That is when I saw how PACKED my 5 X 15 storage unit was and knew I was getting a 5 X 8 trailer and I began praying for a "loaves and fish” miracle—that God would multiply my space. In the end other than the boxes I already took to Terry’s with the intention of leaving only one crate of school books stayed—and they probably will fit in my car but I am trying to keep it down so I don’t look like a bag lady driving down the road. All that matters is going home. I wouldn’t even look as Randy and Terry finished the loading. I loaded my car. I could not imagine how all that stuff was going to get in where, but it all fit.

It was easier to drive loaded. And starting tomorrow I will drive to 1500 miles. Me and God on the open road. I am ready for the Word to fill me. It already has. The Spirit of the sovereign God is upon me.

January 29 is looking like my return date. Then early March. Terry might have a serious houseful in March still, so if that is the case then I will stay with Pastor Dan and Cindy. From pastor to pastor. I am honored at the friends in God I have. Then I imagine I will come back in April. I would LOVE to be here for Easter but I don’t know where God is taking me or what I might be doing at Easter. Then when school is out, I will probably drive out again and get my stuff and visit longer. I have it portioned out the best I can. I have frequent flier miles coming from cereal to internet to cell phone service. It is crazy, I know, but if you were here, if you could see, you would buy your own ticket and fly alongside me. Moses said to the Lord that he didn’t want to go if the presence of God did not go with him; likewise, I do not want to stay gone from where the presence of God is so mighty.

The breakthrough was serious and life changing. I know that because of the number of opportunities I have had to operate in it. I had one just this morning, and when I saw my NATURAL response I rejoiced in the work of the Lord. It is a positive revelation and a miracle. It is real, and it is lasting. The is no turning back. Now I know the truth in this area and nothing can hold me captive again in it unless I choose to consciously.

Yes folks, it was only 4 ½ months but God did it. He did years of work; He made it clear why I was there and taught me a lesson people don’t get in 4 YEARS of Bible college, sometimes, because he did it through divine impartation. All I want now is to grow in it more and more and more.

NOW, I am going to go pray myself to sleep. I am very tired but the enemy is prowling again and it is time to arrest him in his evil tracks.

I love the Spirit of God so much. And in 15 hours He and I will begin the journey home—new and changed.

I praise the Lord for His wonderful love for me.