Raisin, date and walnut oatmeal, clementine tangerines—morning comfort food. It is 10:30 Sunday morning and I am at my computer and not in the church house—and not too happy about that! I PLANNED to go to church I set my alarm ad got up—and was hacking so bad I could hardly function. And then I knew even though I had slept the full night I needed MORE sleep. I could feel that in me too. I called Terry about bringing her dolly for Randy to use and SHE thought I should stay home. I don’t think I sounded very good. Mostly I knew I needed more sleep. So I gave up and went back to bed. I don’t think I could handle church today in my state-perhaps a quiet Baptist church on the corner, but that would still involve me getting dressed and being coherent and I am just not. Man this thing knocked me out bad.

I cannot describe how overwhelming it is to attempt to MOVE while you have the flu! I mean it is NUTS! And then of course when you get sick it is easy to lose perspective. So my mind is not holding a bunch of rational thoughts—instead I am sitting here thinking, my word, I am leaving Los Angeles in 10 days and don’t have a job! Am I NUTS! I don’t know if I have ever lived my life down to the wire like this before.

It is a fine line between trust and fear, but there is only one way I can go.

He’s still God and I’m still NOT.