I am moved out now. It is Saturday night and the only thing remaining in my apartment on California Boulevard in Pasadena is my vacuum cleaner. I will get that Monday when I check my mail and turn in the key. The scary part is not that; it is that I have a lot of stuff despite getting rid of so much. When you are a reader and English teacher, you acquire things that take up space—books, papers, etc. Then when you add dancer to that you acquire more—dance books, costumes, etc. I am not sure what is going to fit. I got my trailer hitch today and found out I can actually rent a 5X8 trailer for a hitch my size, but that is still not that big. At first I was delighted with how much room it had—then I saw how much I had that I had not even moved. We will see. If worst comes to worst, it will stay at Terry’s and I will rent another small trailer at spring break and bring it all back. It won’t be the end of the world.

I found an adapter, so I have internet here. Should have known right! I can’t hang on it all the time of course, but it helps. The house is filled with stuff—so is my car—and I took more to storage. Gasp! Tomorrow is church and I can’t wait. I hate that it is my last Sunday even though I am ready to be in Texas.

I slept SO well last night—in fact I think it helped really heal my cough too. I have coughed some today but only after strenuous activity—and it is much looser and better. I am so glad. Darrell and Terry’s house is one of the most peaceful places I know in the world. I love it there.

I have been thinking a lot about what Terry said last night regarding me and ministry. I think what she said is right but I hold me back in that realm. But she is right—it is in me. It was very validating to hear. She said what she did because she SAW it in me, not because I told her. I think that very moment was a God thing.

Telling Terry last night was so good. Today I found myself in that same place I returned from my weekend of revelation in. In fact it was funny. While my hitch was being installed I went to Burger King for lunch. I walked down the street half a mile or so. I know the neighborhood well. I used to live in it—and I used to walk Lankershim Boulevard often. It was a funny feeling to be walking it again in a different way. I got lunch and sat down in a booth with a newspaper. I started to thank God for my food and the Holy Spirit came over me right there in Burger King. It was almost funny. There I was head bowed, praying in the Spirit in a fast food joint in a lower class neighborhood in North Hollywood. No one had a clue and I was in the heavenlies. It was wild! But I loved it. It is in me. I want it to come out. I want it to be safe for it to come out Again, I say, I want a greater measure of the Holy Spirit. I desperately hunger for that!

Well, I have internet here but the only three pronged plugs are in the bathroom and my old laptop is on its dying legs. It won’t hold a charge. As soon as I get back one of my first purchase is a new laptop for work so I have to hold out for now, but I can’t keep writing too long. I am going to either read, write or pray—or a combination therein—and go to sleep. It is early but I want a good night’s rest. Ideally I will run to my storage place before church and come back and have a bagel with Belma before we head off to church. She is being very gracious. But she nailed it on the head. I had come home tonight and she came out to the guesthouse.

“Would you like any supper or anything?” she asked.

“Oh, no thanks,” I said. “I picked up a sandwich.”

“My, aren’t we independent?” She asked.

“Yes,” I said “Too much so.”

Yikes. I am not used to being taken care of . Sometimes I am not good at it either! It is nice to be cared about—but I don’t always know how to receive it.

One of many changes. I see the future. I don’t know what is going to happen but I know this is all related. The day after Robin and I had our prayer-fest in Texas, I was praying in the Spirit the next morning. I saw something as I prayed—and felt I knew what I was praying. And last night after my talk with Terry and my reflecting on that, I remembered it again. It was a simple thought but I felt it so strongly—and I think it was a picture of the future-and a door to it opening.

I am ready to walk through.