Wow—obviously I have not been at my best or I would have written, huh? Truth is I am so discouraged about renting this place and moving that it is blinding me. I got a little light today to hang on to while I wait. It is not about the apartment, and that is the bane of my existence right now, but there comes a time you will take any light offered.

I had an interesting email today. This weekend I was looking at some churches n the Clear Lake area to see what was there. Although there is one Doc found for me, I still had a feeling it might be a bit too “seeker friendly” for me—and it is really big, too. So I was just glancing and one of the last ones I saw had listed under its ministries a tambourine and dance team. GASP! Tambourine… So I emailed the lady in charge of worship. This morning she wrote me back and said they have a team and she was sending my email to one of the leaders. I got home, half conscious, from work to an email from the leader who handles the regular worship services (they have one who does specials and one for another part of the ministy, too). She said they do both prophetic and choreographed dance and tambourine and they use patterns, too. She said many of the patterns they use are from Shachah and “you wouldn’t happen to be with Shachah would you?” Uh, YEAH! I was amazed. So I wrote her right back and told her I would be in touch soon if I was coming that way. They do specials and also minister regularly on Sunday nights when they do prophetic intercession like they do at the House of Prayer. GASP! Nothing is settled yet and right now at the point I am at that seems far removed—yet it is light. How I have LONGED to use what I know in Shachah with people who love and respect it. How exciting that would be. I think even Aunty could get excited about this move!

So I emailed Dr Hayes and told him—he will not totally understand but will be happy. I have to admit—I don’t really WANT the college job to work out. Not yet anyway. I want to go to Clear Lake where now I know I could have a god job and still dance and even play that dumb old tambourine.

I asked Dr. Hayes two things today—one, was it as humid as they say? His answer to that was yes—sometimes it is not hot, but yeah, it is always pretty humid. Okay, gag me, but as I said to him, it is starting to look like the only bad thing about being there is the weather and right now I live in perfect weather and hate my life, so that is certainly relative!

The other question I asked was did he feel like he was a part of Houston or was it more like a small town. He said it was like being part of a small community with great people (and he is a tough person to please, as he says himself).

Obviously, nothing is set. Just because the church has what I love doesn’t mean I will like the church. The job is not full time yet either. But at least it is something to grasp. I mapped the church—it is 4.7 miles from the school.

Meanwhile I got an email from Robin and she is going to meet me in Dallas Thanksgiving weekend and we are going to talk. That is good because I need to talk about this thing bothering me because now it is taking its toll. Once truth is revealed to me I cannot hold on very long without dealing with it. The truth sets me free, and the lack of truth destroys me.

So that is part of an update—most of the past few day’s update is not worth writing. I have been sick AGAIN—I mean I have just NOT been a healthy person since coming to LA. Last night I could not sleep for literally half the night and when I did sleep it was tumultuous and worry-filled. Of course that made my healing cold sink back. By the afternoon I could barely talk. My throat is still raw, and I felt so bad I could hardly stand in front of the class. This added to the discouragement did not make for a good Susan today. It was another empty day with no answers and fear of money looming with this situation. I am not doing well with that. It is the only hold on me and I hate it. And more than anything I hate that people in business don’t have compassion on people who need a break.

I need to be free.