THANK GOD! I got a dose of hope today. Nothing so magnificent that it solved everything , but at lets it did not look so totally hopeless either. I was fading last night. Still no word, no news, nothing, but I am at least pursuing some avenues that were closed roads yesterday. I have also had multitudinous calls on the apartment. Two ladies are coming tomorrow evening. One is renting for her mom—who is coming from Houston. She also is from Texas, went to SMU. We bonded instantly.

This place IS a steal in this neighborhood. That helps. But until they see it, who knows. I have to say this makes me a bit nervous—not the apartment part but what the heck I am going to do with all my stuff and no help. THAT scares me to DEATH! I am selling furniture, but how to I get it out if it doesn’t sell? And how will I get the stuff I am keeping places? It is a good thing my schedule is not really busy anymore, but still it is overwhelming. I just need a job—one of those and I am okay. Two leads but no answers. And likely they will entail a trip to East Texas if anything happens. I will not be paid for any days off I take—and my daily rate is high here! Though if it GOT me the job it would be worth it—and tax deductible. I hope these expensive moves will give me a big tax refund.

Anyway, I am off to church—after cleaning part of my apartment. I have to clean anyway for Darrel and Terry Friday. But I am throwing out too—I have thrown out most of my teacher stuff from here. I don’t have a job and was in absolute panic last night over that, yet I don’t think I am staying. We will see. Off to church… the rest of the week will be late nights.

Tonight as I drove home from work—late meeting and early darkness—I had a thought of driving down the interstate toward Texas. I wished that was what I was doing, not simply driving home form work. Soon, I thought. But will it be permanent?