I don’t much like not blogging; it is far too much like lying in my book. I stopped blogging because the pressure was on. More and more I was facing my feelings and did not want to deal with the disappointment of my readers. Thus, I vanished. Today I had a rough day—one of my roughest actually. And then suddenly I didn’t care. Truth is all that matters. So dear readers, if you are disappointed, I am sorry. If you have lectures, please leave them to God, if you have encouragement I always receive and if you have judgments, please walk in my shoes first and I will attempt my very best to do likewise unto you.

In the interim I attempted to start a new blog. I set up it and wrote one long entry. What good is a private blog?

So I am back among the blog living and hope to say the same of myself as time progresses. Thus far the people who I have told what is in my heart don’t hate me. This is always a plus. My heart is in Texas. The truth is I want to be there and would go tomorrow if I could. Of course I do get to go for a trip in a couple weeks, but that is different.

The question with a thing like this is always did you make a mistake or is it just not like you expected. And I don’t know. As I told Terry when I first let this out, I could drive myself crazy analyzing it but that is pointless. I can think that maybe I am here for Jenna and Melissa. That could make total sense. Maybe some other stuff. The good part about that is if I am, then I can leave in a year.. California has its good side. It really is pretty and the weather is nice. The variety of people is a boon. I love teaching kids from all cultures. I like the proximity of things. I like the mountains and the ocean. I like the church and some of the people I now here. But it can’t be home again. I changed too much in Texas (thank God!). I will never last as a teacher here. I am not made for CA teaching. I love the kids—that is not it—it is the way of teaching.

So you all should know the truth I have finally been confessing: I expect, barring any monumental words form God, that I will be teaching journalism somewhere in Texas a year from now.