One thing I will never in a million years understand is why people do not reply to you when you seek them out.

I understand when you ask for something someone can’t give and they must refuse. I understand that sometimes you need a day or two because you are swamped. But I will never, ever understand why when someone asks you something and simply request and answer you do NOTHING.

Anyone who knows me knows that silence is the greatest torture of all. Tell me no and I might not like it, but I will live. But tell me nothing and it is about the worst thing you can do.

Obviously I am wrestling with this today—from more than one source and I don’t GET it. But when you don’t know it is easy to assume the worst. I mean I think I fell of the planet!! No joke. Here is an example: I sent a prayer request to my church list. The mail was opened early the next morning. The NEXT day prayer requests went out and mine was not included. YIKES! That was really weird. But what I am REALLY referring to is writing or calling someone and ASKING them a question that necessitates a reply—and in the case of the three or four situations this week, an EASY reply—and getting NOTHING in response. I am not easy to reach all the time but I am VERY easy to get a message to between two phone numbers and email.

So today I am very frustrated. Very. I am thinking of taking off this weekend. My brain is flooded and I can get no feedback. Today I was just plain cranky. David replied to me this morning because I had sent him a few emails. He said he had been really busy at work and would try his best to get back to me this afternoon. I wrote back and thanked him for replying. Sometimes you wonder if your letters fall into cyberspace. I just don’t GET IT.

Well, invisible me is home to rest. I feel so bombed. I feel exhausted. I even went to bed early last night. I ditched ballet. I say that loosely—it is not ballet. It is Walking and Bending 101. I am IMMENSELY qualified to teach it thus far—and that is scary! I think until it gets into it I am going to go ONCE a week. Then I hope we will do some real combinations. It has to be the WEIRDEST class EVER! She is so gentle about it all and so lackadaisical. The thing is, that is anti-ballet. Ballet is about discipline and strength and hard work. I have been trained so fiercely in that that being in this is tough.

The Christian guy at work told me about a church in San Gabriel that uses dancers. Something has to give in my life. I am drying up. I will explore other options.

That is if I am not invisible.