I had an interesting night because I didn’t have an interesting night. Honestly I must say I was bored to tears at church. That sounds bad and it was not bad but just not what I was up for. Very small service—reminded me of a Sunday night at Tyler Metro. Worship was awesome. I think because they are so House of Prayer related that they tend to do what we would label “worship” songs without all the “praise” songs (not that WORSHIP is a slow song, but it helps people relate when I describe it). Anyway, there is a song I heard for the second time tonight that I am buying as fast as I can get my hands on it. Tonight I danced to it—not majorly since I am still assimilating in this new place but it was made to be danced to and I can’t keep still. It is by Tim Hughes—the guy who wrote almost everyone’s current favorite "Here I Am to Worship.” This is called “Beautiful One” and it is truly an awesome song that makes you love Jesus deeper. It was worth going tonight just to hear that again and get it in me. Of course it is from England and not even on Kazaa. (FYI, I do not pirate music because I believe it is wrong but I am purchasing it—but it didn’t matter because it is not available!!!) I can’t even find it on the major music websites, but I have found it. I am trying to order from the one that ships quickest! I could take a chance that the church will have it in stock since they sing it, but if I wait and then they don’t, I will be waiting longer. So I decided to order. I found it cheap online, even with shipping it costs what a CD in a store costs—and there is no tax. I will own this awesome song. I will dance and dance and dance. I can quote the lyrics here because they are nice, but trust me when I say that this is true music, that the musical composition coupled with the lyrics is what makes it an awesome entrance into the presence of God. The crescendo from verse to chorus is the most amazing part of all. WOW!

Beautiful One
Lyrics and Music by Tim Hughes

Beautiful One
Tim Hughes

Wonderful, so wonderful
Is Your unfailing love,
Your cross has spoken mercy over me
No eye has seen, no ear has heard
No heart could fully know,
How glorious, how beautiful you are

Beautiful One, I love You
Beautiful One, I adore
Beautiful One my soul must sing

Powerful, so powerful
Your glory fills the skies
Your mighty works displayed for all to see
The beauty of your majesty
Awakes my heart to sing;
How marvelous, How wonderful you are

You've opened my eyes to your wonders anew
You captured my heart with this love
'Cause nothing on earth is as beautiful as you

My soul, my soul must sing
My soul, my soul must sing
My soul, my soul must sing
Beautiful One

I wish I could play it in here. Wow! Anyway, it is in the mail. What do you want to bet it will stay in my car endlessly? When I went to the House of Prayer in Kansas City in November and got the Dance in the Glory CD I scarcely played another CD for MONTHS. On my Christmas road trip I played a few others but mostly I had that in, day after day through the new year.

I think that song really impacted me tonight. We sang a few more. We sang a LOT. More men that women were dancing. As dancers they looked so awkward and fumbling—but that made it all the more beautiful. When you see men dancing in a church you know something is right. My church is the same way. My pastor is front and center dancing. Pride is the enemy of dancing and most men won’t—but it is awesome. I love to watch them. Last night I watched a lady dance who was so beautiful. She stood alone in the back. I suspected that was because she was very large and did not want to be down front. In the front were some skinny young girls who obviously were anointed. But once I saw the large lady, they paled in comparison. I think that is just like God. There are some physically beautiful dancers who are very anointed (Shelly comes to mind) but more commonly I see the most anointed dancers are the ones the world would laugh at. God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. I will tell you something: If I ever were to get married, I would not marry someone who would not dance—because again, it is not about the ACT of dancing. It is like that quotation I sent Darrell months ago:

"Never trust a spiritual leader who cannot dance!"
-- Mr. Miyagi, The Next Karate Kid

Anyway, I left early. Cheryl and the others were not there again, but that is fine. I will begin early prayer at some point this week and will either go Friday or something to late prayer at night. It will all come together. I went to Wal Mart to return my pants. I picked up the wrong size because I read the label wrong (duh, English teacher!) It was crazier than Texas right before back-to-school. But here there is nothing else as cheap and no WM for miles. Who can blame them? They did not have the same pants in my size, but I found two other pairs and a shirt. Susan bought clothes! I NEVER shop. I buy t-shirts and bags on ministry trips and that is about it. I use all my money for travel.

By the time I was driving home I was downright happy. This surprised me because even despite the great things happening now I am still having a few problems and the fact is, I have potential for friends, but no one I am close to who is Christian I can spend time with. So there is a distance in me that keeps a wall up, a sadness that won’t completely penetrate, even though I know it will ultimately be okay. But I was joyful as I drove home. And I also realized it is ironic that I love LA at night as I do. The earthquake struck in total darkness. Before the Northridge quake I loved nighttime and indoors. After the quake I began to hate darkness and I loved being outdoors (safer in a quake). I STILL like the outdoors! That changed me forever. But I like night also, now. So it is very interesting to me that being back here I like the night more than the day. I love the city lights and cool breezes and almost restful feelings in the atmosphere after the chaos of the day.

With that I shall retire into the night.