August 16, 2003

Ah! Adventures in Susanland! The devil is scum.

Indeed, after driving all over the San Fernando Valley (that is the Valley I hate—I live in the San Gabriel Valley) in search of my vitamins and having to settle on an overpriced off brand, I decided to go to church. I needed to worship if nothing else. So I go and find it pleasantly smaller than I envisioned—probably because it is a Saturday evening service. I could hardly believe it—the first song they sang was one of my all-time favorite worship songs that I have NEVER heard sung in a church. I learned it—in a roundabout way—through a person in England in 1999. It is incredible—musically beautiful and lyrically resplendent with the glory of God. It is called “Beautiful Saviour,” and it was a delight to hear live for the first time in my life.

Anyway, the service was nice enough. Any place I can’t dance is not a place I could live, but I knew that. It was a proper Spirit filled church, but still a good one. I am just not proper. I was probably the more expressive one there! I did meet some lovely people during the prayer time. I mean they were so neat. The pastor took some getting used to—I think I pinpointed why by the end and decided I liked him—but he was not typical But his sermon was very interesting. It was from Zechariah, about returning to the stronghold of hope—and it was about the fine line between hope and fear (oh, hush, Robin!). But he said so much good stuff that really did minister to me. He was a very intellectual man, so it was not an emotional type thing, but more of me writing it all down and taking it to heart. I was delighted that it did not run too late, as I was not really wanting to be out anyway, but knew I needed to go to church. I was not sure the quickest way to get home, but took a chance and I think I got back rather speedily. Still I am amazed by freeways.

I wanted to try a place for dinner I had passed many times, so I drove to South Lake Avenue where all the restaurants are and got Baja Fresh. It looked so good. I could not wait to get home and eat and relax—and it was still only around 10 when I got back to my place. I had to empty my trunk into my storage area so Pastor and Aunty and Melissa could fit stuff in my car. At this point I was feeling good. As I left Baja Fresh, a light went on in my car that I had never seen. It was a little red picture of a person with an airbag on them! I was not amused. You just know sometimes that things are straight from hell—let’s annoy Susan right after a church service where she is responding to the message. Well, Susan got MAD. I was warring against that pit of hell and commanded that light to go off after I had already stopped once and tried to no avail to restart and see it return. I pulled into my carport after my little anti-devil fit and turned off the car, then back on. The test lights all went on—including Mr. Air Bag. It seemed to linger and then it went off. What victory! Ha! Won that one, devil. I unloaded my trunk stuff, cleared out my car and grabbed everything. I locked the door and headed to eat my food and relax—just about the time I noticed my keys sitting on the front seat.

So the devil felt like a fight. He is messing with my car lately. Talk about mad. I have roadside service with my cell phone The number was allegedly stuck on the back of my phone when I bought it—you know, easy access in case you need it. Alas! It was nowhere to be found. So I called my cell provider and they transferred me. The next 45 minutes to an hour was spent on the phone and wandering around my dark carport alone. I gave the person the wrong number when she asked for my cell! I gave her my home number. Well, later fearing it would mess up in the system I called back to correct it. But it was fine. But they took so long to get here. Finally at 11 he arrived and by 11:10 had it opened. I remained calm the whole time. Sometimes when you recognize attacks as attacks it is easier to not react, I think. What was the point?

But there is a spiritual side to this… a real question that came about. Of course the first thing I did was pray and try to open it myself. I even found a catch in the window that would have maybe worked, but it was so dark and I had nothing with me to help. Of course that meant I was locked out of my house too. I was thinking about the Lord. He has opened prison doors and torn down walls. Certainly He could open a locked car door. He can. I believe that—and yet I knew when I was praying that that I did not have the faith. I could believe the light would go off, but the more supernatural it gets the harder it is. And then was mad at myself. I told the Lord I want the kind of faith that can believe for those things. I have the power of the Almighty God within me and yet I have to stand locked out of my car? I don’t believe that is necessary. I believe there is a lot of power I have yet to grasp-and I believe I have to grasp it to go on deeper. I think perhaps this conference I will be attending in a few weeks will help in that regard. I decided tonight I am really glad I am going. I am ready to grow deeper. The pastor said tonight that people of faith are MADE. I know that is true.

I am fixing to be filled with faith—and the next time the door will open—car or prison. The power is there. I just have to get it.

I am determined to be at Extravagant Worship tomorrow night. I am taking my clothes, my streamers, my tambourine, my everything in the morning. And the when the Yaps don’t need me anymore, I shall be dancing my heart out and into the Father’s arms the rest of the night. I am getting desperate.

With God there is no better place to be.