More changes and updates… This month I will actually be in this church in CA more than my own church. I will be here three Sundays and only in mine one, maybe two. If I move before July 1, my last Sunday at Tyler Metro will be (GASP!) June 8. This hit me tonight with great force. The date changes happened due to my sudden lack of college employment. That coupled with a job fair I need to be at June 12 here in the Valley added to it. I will leave here on Tuesday the 3rd and leave to come back on Tuesday the 10th! Major yikes. I will be here until June 23rd, I guess. I have to be here the 22nd to dance and then if I move July 1, I will have to head right back to Texas, get my stuff and head back up here! Some of that will depend on jobs, etc. If I get a job at a traditional school then I can stay longer in Texas. I got an email tonight from the Glendale school district, saying there were open positions. So I emailed my resume to the address they gave me. Another chance… do I want it? If I have to be back out that quickly, I will probably have to fly. I know in my heart it will work out one way or another, but I just came off another cry-fest. It was a minor one, but still it was one.

Terry and I went for a walk tonight and talked about all this vision and faith and stuff. That helped. But I am still freaking a bit. We all went to dinner at Marie Callender’s. That was nice too. I had lunch with Erica, and that was neat. All is fine, but inside I look around and I HATE this place. It is so UGLY. And then I look at Terry and Darrell and I fear I will never get to be with them. And what if all this dance talk and ministry talk and worship stuff is great talk but never turns into anything? I am so scared. I don’t really WANT to be here, but that is not the point. Terry and I did not even pray tonight. Everything feels far too ordinary to be special.

This morning I danced on Pointe for a long time. And yes, I said, DANCED, not just walked. I actually went through my whole dance on Pointe and can do it. I was amazed this morning. I love defying the odds.

Can I defy them in California?