I suddenly realized tonight that last night might have been my LAST late night talk/prayer time with Terry. There will be other times of talk and prayer, but these slumber party moments are over. After we said good night tonight I realized that and sat at the table crying. What a whirlwind this has all been. This visit has been a reminder of my March visit, although incredibly different. I came here this week to organize my life in LA. I wanted to get some things in order, get an address, maybe an apartment once it seemed that was changing, arrange storage, etc. The plan was to be ready to arrive in August with minimal hassle. Instead, I accomplished virtually nothing in the natural sense! None of that happened and I spent a lot of time frustrated. But what did happen was better.

I came here to get my natural life in order and God focused me spiritually. Last night talking to Terry really showed me some things. This is not stuff I would blog, but it is important. I love truth. Sometimes I love it more when it is hard to hear, but it sets me free. She said a couple things that she did not even realize. She was speaking in general but I knew specifics, so I took it to heart. Today I have found it really affected me. I love truth. I believe God gave her those things to say last night when it was general because it will prevent it from being specific. That sounds so abstract, but it really isn’t. I have not even told her yet, but I will in the morning. That will be our last talk for several weeks. Oh, how had that is. They will be out of the country, not merely 1500 miles away. I will miss them so much. In a short time they have become so much a part of my spiritual life. I don’t ever want to say good bye again.

It will be harder in a way being back. I will not be staying here. I will go to church and see them there but not be WITH them. I might eat lunch alone again. I don’t like that. It will not be easy. But I still know it will be okay. In the last two days God has given me greater vision and focus, sharpening the things that He began saying in March. I have one moth to get in His presence and prepare. This is what I meant many blogs ago when I said I felt like I was getting married. I know some people don’t understand that—let’s face it I had no clue a few months ago about tat Holy Romance idea that has now consumed my very being.

All the things I have heard from God have been reconfirmed. I will have to work hard to follow that path. I am at a turning point. If I turned around, went home to Tyler and stayed, I could live a Christian life and even be blessed. But I would be abandoning the perfect plan of God for me in favor of what is easy and comfortable. The time is now, the call has come. My bridegroom has arrived on His white horse to take me to the chamber. It will be a new way of life, something I do not know. But it will be better.

Darrell and Terry are two of the most amazing people I know. I have never known people with a greater anointing of love. Perhaps my own pastor now has one similar, but I am telling you, after experiencing the great grace and love from these people for 13 years, I will love them forever. I will serve them and God in this new place. I know it will not always be great. I already know the things that won’t be—including many that reign in me. But you know what? They know me. I think that Darrell even picked up on something the other day and responded to me in light of it. He is a gentle and kind man. I have a journal entry from 13 years ago where I wrote how Terry told me that I would find Darrell was one of the most gentle and loving people I would ever know. Yup.

I have leaving this house. I live in the anointing here. At least once every trip I wake up early praying in the Spirit. It happened this morning. I never sleep but I live. I have spent more time in the Word and prayer today. God and I are having intense heart to hearts. I have a month to be ready.

The sun came out today. Darrell pointed it out and I jumped up and down in the kitchen. He teased me that he almost didn’t tell me because he knew I would react that way! But I know when he says things like tat he is really expressing pleasure with the fact that I do—that I am bouncy and happy. It came and went a bit but as I drove up the cost it filled the clear sky. Driving over the San Marco pass between Santa Barbara and Santa Maria, I saw beautiful bleu above me. When I went to the beach to meet Anne later, it was sunny, and the water was not even freezing! I was amazed. I had a quick beach trip, just enough to gush to God, do a couple of leaps and get in gear. I had a nice dinner with Anne, and some interesting dance discussion. More God stuff. I am amazed.

I have so much gushing to do. I wonder who I can gush to in July when Terry is gone. Lots of people care, but the heartstrings that are the same make a beautiful melody. I will miss them and my home away form home. I have been here four times now. This is my last night here. My next night in LA I will be a resident again. A servant on a mission, a bride entering the chamber.

And I will never be the same again.