Well, today was not nearly as hard as I thought. I guess because I was excited as well as emotional. When I saw Dr. Hayes this morning and handed him the letter, of course he knew, and it was so hard then because I will miss him so much. He is one of my best friends. That sounds funny, but he is. He has believed in me when no one else did. He has seen the best in me in areas no one else could have due to the fact that he knows me professionally. He is the first person I ever worked for who appreciated my unique ways and gifts. He honored me where others attacked me. He has been a wise voice of reason as a Christian I respect. He has been a person to laugh with. He is a real friend whose first name will probably always be Doctor to me because how can I ever call him Fred? The only likely chance I ever have of seeing him again is if I get to a conference in Houston and meet him for a business lunch. That is the downside to having male friends. But I know I will always email and be in touch. You don’t throw away friends like that. He was the really hard part today, I think. I just got teary eyed and for once he did not tell me to get over it (an inside joke). He understood, probably heightened because he and his wife have been through the same thing recently. His resignation is official tomorrow but the whole school knows anyway. I knew a long time ago. If you carefully read my blog there will be references to “more changes came today through a friend” and lines like that. I have to admit it has made it easier to leave knowing he will not be here. It is less like I am throwing out a perfect situation. That was hard, but we both understood. I miss him already. He has truly been one of my best friends, in a unique way, kind of like David I guess. I am starting to cry as I write this. It is so hard to leave a good friend. “You are a good person, Miss Tyrrell,” he said. So are you, Doctor, so are you.

Then there were the kids. Lindsey S. came in after first period demanding “how long have you known?” She was referring to Dr. Hayes and thought maybe that was what our meeting was about. She was the first to ask me if I was leaving. Sarah was the toughest. She guessed and the tears came. She had to miss the after school meeting because of another meeting, but she called me when I was in Dr Hayes’ office. She was mad. Very mad. I understood because she is a lot like me. She said her parents would be mad too. But I can’t stay for any one person. Amazingly of my core kids, most really did understand. I told them it was God. Period. And they got it because they have faith. What neat kids I am leaving behind (sob). A couple cried and said they were mad, but I think they knew I was not leaving because of some perfect job offer or something but because I had to. They are smart; they knew the difference. There were lots of hugs and I promised them a party at my place this summer! But I think they will be okay if they know they are getting a good teacher. That is the challenge. Dr Hayes leaves June 9! We don’t even have a month! It is all so sudden.

It is so weird to write freely on here after months of talking in code. I feel okay, but then I wonder, have I worked this up so much in my head that I THINK it is okay when I just quit the best, most wonderful job ever with kids I adore? I fully intend to stay in the lives of some of them. I love them so much

Interestingly enough today two of my former students from this year came back to visit so I even got to tell them. God is good. It is still a wild experience that I can’t quite process yet. In some ways it feels natural. The year is over, and I would not ordinarily see them anyway.

I started working on my Texas video at work today. I will have it done to take to LA Friday. I have great footage of the kids.

I called the recruiter in LA today. I have to call back tomorrow, but he has a prospective place for me to interview. Unfortunately there is major placement fair on June 12. I might have to find a way to fly back. I simply do not have anymore money for flying The great news is that it is all tax deductible, but right now I still have to come up with it. I think the people at American Airlines know me by name I am starting to see the same videos and have the same issue of the inflight magazine.

Everything is in motion.