I am in California—again. My third trip in two-and-a-half months. But this is the most realistic of all. I am in a weird time right now. I am second guessing everything I have thought. Everything was perfect til I quit my job, and then enemy fire came. After losing my driver’s license on the heels of almost everything going wrong, I started to see it was one huge attack and not something else, and I prayed and took authority on my way to the airport because I knew if I didn’t more would come.

The weather here made me glad to be here despite the fears. I left Dallas when it was 100 degrees and arrived when it was 66 degrees (and gained two hours so actually it was only an hour later than LA was 66 to Dallas’ 100!). I got chilly outside. I love it.

It was good to see Terry. I just connect with her so well and love her so much. And Darrell has to be one of my all time favorite men I have ever known. He is just a good, good guy. So it is good to be here. But it is all different. I am not sure what is going to happen.

I have no summer job suddenly and that is terrifying. I don’t even like LA and yet I might be here in a few weeks! Of course without a job here that is hanging in the balance also. When I go home Tuesday I may have nothing to do. If that is the case I will probably go volunteer at Shachah because if I sit around home I will go stir crazy. I just need direction and that is what I am praying.

If I have none when I leave I think I am going to have to work it out to come back June 12 for a job fair. Terry will not be here but I am thinking if I can sack out on Jenna’s couch one or two nights til she does get here, maybe we can move my trip up a bit and it all might come together.

I praise God that I had an easy easy time proceeding through airport security deposit having no driver’s license. In fact, it was smoother than usual, I think. I pray for the same smoothness renting a car. I think I need to go to the ocean and pray Monday. It will be good. But more than anything I need that road sign because if I start a position July 1 then everything has to happen fast.

And then there is Clear Stream. So much of me wants to go. I do not necessarily believe that is the bestthing for me, but it feels good. I think it is my escape, the thought I harbor in the back of my mind that says I have an out. People who like to be in control need an out.