Every pique brought me joy this morning. I loved dance class. I always love dancing but sometimes classes get hard; ballet can be very redundant. But this morning I loved it all. This was the first time we had done grand jetes in class since my injury a few months ago. Of course since then I learned them somewhat, and then God gave them to me for my dance, and so I do them virtually every morning. My dance has eight of them. That will teach you!

So today Anna demonstrated but she did her preparation differently than I have been, even though I thought I had been doing it like I learned there. So I asked her and Melissa. They had me show them what I was doing. Get this: What I was doing WAS correct, but it was “the more difficult way.” First I cannot even DO the blasted things and then when I learn, I learn the difficult method—so I actually had to re-learn the simple method this morning! But of course I loved that I did something more complicated! And then when I grasped the simpler way a bit and went into the air I heard Melissa: “VERY nice, Aunty Susan,” she called. I beamed. I had felt kind of bad when she did not also send me to the side barre to practice pirouettes, but they don’t all know some of what I have learned on my own and that I can handle stuff like that. I think they see me as I was more than as I am becoming, but that is normal. They would be shocked to know I try same things on Pointe that they are learning. Two people are starting in class, our advanced people, and they are struggling too. I do that at home. In secret. For now.

I did not stay for the second class. This morning was already a sacrifice to go. I just did not want to. I think when I feel in limbo I want to stop everything. I am glad it turned out so well.

I was in another world though. I left instrumental worship music on for my whole drive and prayed in the Spirit pretty much off and on all the way there. I think I still know. On the way home I listened to the last teaching CD in a 5-part series by John Bevere I bought in November ( I make myself stretch these out). It was very good. And by the end I was lost in the ideas—“I want that, God. I want that” I said softly but with great conviction. I do still think I know.