More change came today—part through Dr. Hayes and part through an email. In minutes I am calling Terry. It is time to tell her what is on my heart. I am nervous. I hope I get her soon. It is Thursday so Darrell and DJ will be at youth, so she will either be home or busy cutting hair. My heart is beating.

I just came home from ballet. I am happier with my appearance. Also my dance is getting better. I dance EVERY SINGLE DAY now. It makes a difference. Perhaps if I keep this up I will be good one day!!! Either way it doesn’t matter because I won’t ever quit. It has too much of a spiritual tie to me. I am off to call Terry and let the cat out of the bag… I wish I could see her face as I do, and that Darrell would be there next to her, but this is necessitated by responsibility in this situation so I really have no choice—it is either call now or be inconsiderate. So I risk it—and I remember that hope does not disappoint…

She wasn’t there. I am not surprised but that just means the suspense stays. I told her she could call back til 10:30 or I would call tomorrow afternoon. I was shaking while I called—so nervous. I know she won’t be shocked, but what will she think? Everything is suddenly heating up. I still don’t have clear answers, but I have clear direction that will lead me to the answers. It is 9:20. I am going to get into bed and keep the phone in here in case she gets back tonight in time to call. At this rate she will be sick of me before I even get off the plane! (Or is that fear talking?) This two hour time difference is a real pain. I want to get this over with now that I know it is time. This is not how I planned it. But then maybe it is how GOD planned it. So much is going on. I told Dr. Hayes today. But I still keep it quiet. It stirs silent within me, yet I am aware that the lady doth protest too much.