Every day seems clearer, but I don’t dare acquiesce yet. Today I had Shachah. Aunty came in with her family to see us. They had been out visiting with a cousin she had not seen in 8 years. She started crying as she talked about the visions and how God had held n to it and resorted it. And I bawled my eyes out as she encouraged us to not let go of the visions. My mind trailed back to CFNI and the first conference where I met her. I think of how this dance began in me and how it has become who I am in so many ways. It is synonymous with worship and the Holy Spirit within me. And I cried and cried because if what is happening within me.

Later I saw her and hugged her. I blessed her and thanked her and told her I loved her. I told her I am going to be in LA next week and that I know something finally (referring to how compared to Shachah people I know so little but in LA I have something that they can use in all this training). I dare say it was the nicest and most tender moment I have had with Aunty since the night we met even. But God is doing more.

We got our initial rehearsal schedule for this year’s women’s conference at CFNI. I love the theme—“Elegant Grace” –and I love the music. We learned a big chunk of a dance from it today. The song made me cry too! It was about how God was always with us, even when we could not see Him. But I got it—I got the dance—and perhaps found a new step for my own! I looked at that schedule and those dates. I love the idea, but I don’t think I will be doing it. I want to, but I don’t think I will. Just a feeling. If I am wrong, I will love every step we do.

Of course I am tired—it is Saturday and the lack of sleep catches up with me on this day each week now. This time I fell asleep in the living room watching my CA video—AGAIN. I love to watch it. Terry said she has watched it twice herself. I know every line now, like a script.

Later now, I just cleaned out a cabinet. I was looking for the certificate I got when I was baptized but I have not seen it in years. It was at NHFA and I want to know who did it. It was so long ago that I did not remember. It was either George, Darrell or the senior pastor at the time. Even David could not remember. But in the process of cleaning I found some interesting stuff. Sometimes it is good to hold on to old things because they show you what God has done. I threw a lot away but I saved some reminders. I sat amazed, praising God more. I found old pictures and cards, etc from Darrell and /or Terry from 1990-1994. It is so neat to see the past in that regard and see what God is doing now.

I talked to Debbie in AL today. She said, “I remember you being close to David, but not Darrell and Terry. I thought you didn’t like him when you were there.” I told her, that was part of why this was so special. Darrell and Terry and I clashed. We started well, clashed a lot through my bad behavior, and in the end, we left friends, but that is why it is so amazing. And fact is, when I say clash, that is mild. I was a holy terror to them. But they loved me. When I look back at journals, I see love. I told Deb about that. I said what I have been thinking, “they have an anointing of love.” It is strong and unusual. I believe that is why God is doing such awesome and mighty works through them and in their church. I am honored to be a part of it in whatever way God lets me.