BLECH! By the end of the week it is supposed to be in the 90s! Gol-ly (two big Texas syllables), what is up with that? We barely made it into the 70s, then we hit low 80s and before we could actually, oh, I don’t know, enjoy spring; now it is going into the 90s. In Texas that can be translated GROSS. By mid-summer each year I threaten to move to Minnesota before the next summer. Eventually winter arrives and then I am happy. But this year is different; this year I don’t want to see winter. This year I only want to live in spring. Won’t find that in Minnesota either. BLECH! (Did I say that already?)

Later now, and I am having a nice time. I went for a walk and finished listening to a tape from the church in North Hollywood. This one was not Darrell, but the former pastor, Terry Inman, who returned in January for a Sunday. It was a pivotal service that impacted Darrell and Terry, as well as the church; it also sparked a theme they now have in the church. It was the old and new uniting. So to understand the church now, I had to hear this tape too. It was powerful.

After that I shopped a bit, ate Chinese food for dinner and sang and worshipped a lot as I drove. The prevailing feeling in me is a realization that I might really have a sense of purpose. I don’t mean to say I have not before now. I have felt like my job has been a tremendous ministry at times. I give more than I take to the world at large. But that is not to be confused with a divine purpose and calling. So the question today has been, “Is this my purpose?”

I am reading For This Cause, a book written by the pastor of the Hillsongs Church, Brian Houston. It was on the shelf of the room I stayed in last time at Darrell and Terry’s. It is the companion to the CD, and the CD has the song about not being satisfied and complacent in our lives with God. So I borrowed it. I have, in fact, actually heard Brian Houston preach this message in person a couple years ago, but the book covers more. The idea is that when you are committed to the cause of Christ which is given to you, it is the driving force behind everything. It is different from doing good things to just do them, different from ordinary life goals. The cause is a word from God for your life, and that drives you daily. Is this my cause? Is this my call?

Of course the other question I have been asking myself is the one I have been asking for one month and two weeks exactly: IS THIS REAL?

I am going to spend my evening writing, reading and praying—and my morning too. Check out is not til noon. Then I have a long lunch before rehearsal at 3. I have had a couple potential epiphanies I need to sort out. The final verdict must be close.