Another emotional prayer time this morning. I have been really tired. Lately I have banned myself from the internet until just before I leave for work. So I basically hear the alarm at 5, get up and get my fiber cereal and orange, inhale it and pray. Thus, I am rarely conscious until halfway through praying. Today I was thanking the Lord for all he has done. I see myself at Pismo Beach a lot, see the picture in my mind of me doing grand jetes on the sand and seeing in perspective the mighty works of God in my life. I was thanking Him this morning and the picture came into my mind of driving toward Santa Maria when I visited. I saw myself on US Highway 101 just outside of Santa Barbara the day I called Carolyn to tell her I was on my way and would meet her. I saw that picture in my mind and burst into tears of gratitude. It was like a movie where you see random shots, a sort of montage juxtaposing the scenarios. I saw myself at 13 talking to Carolyn my probation officer, immature, rebellious , angry, and lost lost lost. Then I saw myself at 33 in my car driving down the highway, mature, alive, free, and saved saved saved. And then I realized how miraculous that very phone call was. I was in my nice car on the highway I had never driven because I was always a passenger, always in someone’s car, or on a Greyhound, or, worse yet, in a county car being transported from one juvenile hall to another. And then I was driving down the coast on a gorgeous spring day, calling Carolyn my Christian friend with whom I now share a whole new bond. And then I promptly burst into tears. Sometimes even phone calls are miracles.

Later on my way to work I was listening to Darrell. This was not a sermon; I have already exhausted that short supply I brought home. But this was the welcome tape for visitors (call me desperate). In it he said something that paralleled my life right now. It was something God did with he and Terry many years ago and it was so similar to what I have experienced and then I bawled again because it was like a confirmation. So I am grateful sap today.

Last night was good. Again, I use the word underwhelming. I guess that is good—when things are easy, that usually a good sign. I guess I want people to burst into tears. Ha! Not really and it has been so nice. Such blessings and understanding all around. At least for now.