March 31, 2003

I am about to burst. I have to know. It is almost Tuesday and I am going to call Terry tomorrow afternoon. I am not sure I can get her, but I will try. I prayed most of the way home from Mount Pleasant tonight. I keep asking God what is happening. I keep getting the same answer, but then I think. My answers do not make sense if I think. I try to backtrack. I go back to March 12 when I walked into Darrell’s office. March 12—nine years TO THE DAY that I left Los Angeles. I could not have planned that if I tried. I try to analyze it. What happened? But I have no answers in my mind because it was a work of the Spirit. At one point the other day I was writing something in my journals about Terry, something I was not sure about. I said that made sense because I barely know her anymore in that way. Our closeness is all spiritual. In the Spirit I know her well, but I don’t even know what she likes to eat or where she likes to go. I do not know if she has a busy life, an average one, what stresses her out or makes her laugh. Is that insane? I am either having a book of Acts experience or I am losing my mind.

Tonight at work they gave us Palm Pilots for completing that part time academy program. I made another slip up in my speech when they told us we were now considered “associate faculty” members. But I have to write about that later too, or I will slip up again. Anyway, I thought, wow, great, I can download games to play on the plane next Friday and make the time go faster. I have a one track mind. I am so excited to gather my streamers, my flags and my tambourine and shove them in my bag. “bring everything,” Terry says.

Am I awake yet?