ARGH! It is raining AGAIN. It is cold AGAIN (still) and California seems a lifetime away yet so close. My spring fever will be cured by the arrival of spring. Yesterday after church I drove with my windows down, enjoying the sunny day and breeze. But by this morning it was a memory so short lived I wondered if it were perhaps an aberration, like a man hallucinating in the desert.

One week from right now I ought to be in the middle of the Central Coast of California. The forecast now tells me I will have only one day of rain. The rest of the trip will be high 60s and partly cloudy. But in CA that means sunny. I don’t care about swimming at the ocean, but I want to walk beside it and pray.

To that end I had a bit of a success in the hotel arena. Silly Santa Maria grew like wildfire, but the hotels didn’t. Thus, finding a Priceline or even Hotwire hotel room one might deem affordable is not meant to be. Frustrated I searched surrounding areas. In the end I found a hotel at the BEACH for $59 a night. Most of the rooms are way higher, but this was one of those special bargain rates. I locked it in. So next Monday night I will go to sleep with the ocean out my window. I am tempted to sleep with the window open despite lows in the 40s.

How will do all I want to do? I want to see people in Santa Maria and places, too. I want to see schools and churches and even juvenile hall. I want to remember so I can review. I want to go to the mall like I did as a teenager, and see my old neighborhood. In Los Angeles, I want to visit my old church and go to Hollywood and buy tacky souvenirs. I want to eat and favorite restaurants (where I can barely eat anything anyway!) and walk along Ventura Boulevard in Studio City. I want to buy a new outfit in Sherman Oaks, and groceries in Encino. I want to go to a dance store. I want to be a tourist coming home. And I want to remember who I was when I was there and see who I am now. My visit is chronological, starting with Santa Maria and ending with David, like real life was, but I almost want to go back and spend my last night on the beach, sitting out on a crag writing in my journals about it all.

I think I will know better who I have become once I see where I was.