3/13/03

Wow! Wow! Wow! I cannot believe what is happening. First, I am not coming home until the last possible second. I knew yesterday I needed to stay. I sensed it but it seemed so crazy. After all I needed to go to dance Saturday because we have this dance coming up at the end of the month. I fought the idea all night as I lay in my hotel wanting to be here in the foothills of LA with Terry again. This morning I realized something. Maybe God was still shaking up my schedule. I planned it all so carefully to be home at the right time. But obviously God had some other plans or I would have never seen Terry and Darrell. To stick to something simply out of planning is the same as all the criticism I do of programs. If I have to miss a dance because God is asking me to do something else, that is not bad. So I took my own advice. I called Terry as I was arriving at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa to see David. Every time I thought about leaving from my lunch with David to head out into the desert and home, I felt just ICKY. That is the only word. It was an awful thought. Finally I realized what I had to do. I suspected God was telling me to stay, so I called Terry. She could not believe I was calling because she was just reading something I wrote and thinking of me at that moment. She interrupted herself to tell me she loved me a million times. I asked her if she had plans the rest of the day. She said she had just had her major plans cancel! The rest was history. I enjoyed my few hours with David. He took me to a trendy place near the beach and then we went to his mother-in-law's because she lives on a bluff overlooking the ocean in Laguna Nigel. We talked. Then I came back to Terry’s. Right now she has a client over for a short appointment (hair) and then we will continue. All we do is talk about God and then laugh these joyful laughs because we have found each other. Darrell shared about me at church last night, she said. Terry said it was hard because she could tell the people got it but didn’t REALLY get it because they did not know me. Terry knew me when. Not as when as my juvenile problems in Santa Maria, but she knew me in bad times. We keep trying to figure out a way I can be here Sunday for church, but it can’t logistically happen because the drive is too many hours. For now I just told her that I knew God wanted me back here—and she knew it too—and he is doing something and I will leave when He is done. That would have to hold until June. I have never ever in my life had this type of things happened with a person before, but I have heard of God doing this. I have a feeling I will have lots of California trips in my future. Suddenly I have too much here to not be here. And to think I almost missed it. I almost did not even bother coming to LA because I thought I had nothing here. I was happy with Santa Maria and all that good. But God does exceedingly MORE than we can ask or think. This is His exceeding. I am in the most beautiful house, jumping between total peace and joyful anticipation—but they are not mutually exclusive so I can entertain both—awaiting God. What an incredible trip this is. And I still feel some of the best is yet to come. I could care less if I sleep. I will probably head home early Saturday morning. I really do need to be back by Sunday at 6 to meet with my kids on the dance team at church. But if I drive up to the church at 5:59, car loaded with boxes and bags, I am fine with that. Well, I am going to write more later, but right now Terry must be finishing up and we have an appointment with God!